McKinney student who made Facebook threat was bullied

http://www.wfaa.com/news/crime/Juvenile-taken-into-custody-after-threat-on-posted-on-Facebook-175412811.html

McKinney, Texas is just North of Dallas.  Unlike my previous story, this time there are facts that this student was often a victim of bullying and harassment.  Reports are that he was also autistic.  While many people may believe that he was merely posting threats on a social network, what set his threats apart and required the action from the police were the specifics about his threats.  As with suicidal ideations, when kids have specific plans, this time down to numbered steps, plans of actions need to be taken.  These cannot be chalked up as "kids being kids."

While the McKinney Police Department should be applauded for taking the appropriate measures, my concern lies with the McKinney schools.  The news story states,

"McKinney Boyd Principal Rick McDaniel posted a message acknowledging the "threatening statements" Tuesday morning on McKinney Boyd's Facebook page, and said "such comments [...] will not be tolerated and the District will prosecute to the fullest extent that the law allows." The post was removed as of 4:30 p.m. Tuesday."

I checked the Facebook page, there is no evidence of the post as stated.  While threats to the school should not be taken lightly, the harassment and bullying of an autistic student which would lead to him to these events should also not be taken lightly.  At least somebody understands that,

 "The boy's classmates said it's a shame it came to this, and it should serve as a wake up call to the community."

Ethan Empey suicide hanging Frisco Griffin Middle

Ethan Empey suicide hanging Frisco Griffin Middle - Dallas News | myFOXdfw.com

Yet another young boy takes his life by hanging himself.  A 12 year old boy hung himself in his home. As with a previous story, this child was an athlete as well.  What was going on in this child's life that made him make this ultimate choice?

Also this week in North Texas,

• 2 students from Coppell High School were killed in seperate incidents. A very popular football player was cliff diving at a local lake and did not surface after a jump.  His body has still not been found.  Several days later another senior at the school took his own life.
• It's been found that a student at Creekview HS in Carrollton, Texas died from a cheese heroin overdose.  His friend admitted the use to his mother after she was dumbfounded of his death. He too was a popular athlete. 

What is going on with our children?  Sports and athletics used to be an outlet for many.  Now it is often an avenue for drugs and for bullying.  Parents and schools need to be aware of so many more threats to their children and students. 

Teen nearly overdosed because of bullies

Teen nearly overdosed because of bullies, mom says - Dallas News | myFOXdfw.com

Not only happens with small kids. This time a sophmore in high school took up to 9 pills in the cafeteria.

This mother was aware of the drop in grades and her son prying his braces off?  When was action taken?

Student commits suicide at Oklahoma junior high school

Student commits suicide at Oklahoma junior high school - Dallas News | myFOXdfw.com

Sad. As the story develops it will be "interesting" (not sure if that was the appropriate word choice) to see if bullying, gangs, or drugs played a part.

And So It Begins

Last night in Dallas, Texas, two teenage girls were shot in separate incidents.  While the details on one of the shootings are not as available, one is all over the news, and all too common.  What started as a 14 year old girl arguing on Facebook, lead to an early morning argument and drive-by shooting.  And by early morning, I mean 1:30am.  The details of the story can be read here. 

While I am not one to judge the actions of this girl nor her parents, I am going to point out one major issue I have with the parent, as I usually do. 

"Johnson told News 8 the fight escalated when her daughter's friends showed up in the front yard and got into a physical fight with her daughter at about 1:45 a.m."

Regardless of what is going on, as a parent do you allow your 14 year old child to go outside to confront these people at 1:45am?  What good could possibly have come of it?  As a parent it is your responsibility to protect your child, not send them out to fend for themselves. 

School starts in Dallas in about 3 weeks.  As summer winds down and the pressures of "back to school" crank up, there are bound to be several incidents similar to this. Hopefully they do not lead to gun play. 

The question to ask for any parents out there is...what are your kids involved in today that will affect them when school starts in 3 weeks? What online arguments are they involved in now that they will have to face when they see these people in person? 

(sidenote - I've been gone from here a while, the posts will resume if anyone cares lol)

Too Young...

On January 21, 2010, nine year old Montana Lance, a 4^th grade student at Stewart Creek Elementary School in Lewisville, Texas took his own life.  After being sent to the office, he asked to use the bathroom and locked himself in the nurse’s closet and hung himself with a belt. 

Nearly two and a half years later, the case is still in litigation. 

Parents from Lewisville and several other school districts staged a demonstration today due to their feelings that schools are not doing enough to protect students from bullying.  What many parents fail to realize is that the US Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, called for school districts across the country to adopt anti-bullying protocols last school year.  It was mandated in Texas as part of the most recent legislative session.  While parents do have an expectation of safety when their child is dropped off at school, it is important for parents to familiarize themselves with their school district’s code of conduct.  At the beginning of every school year, parents are given a stack of paperwork to fill out from their child’s teacher or school.  One of those papers is usually an acknowledgement of receipt of the code of conduct.  The majority of parents simply tear the signature paper out, sign it, and return it with the rest of the stack.  However, it is the parent’s responsibility to know the information.  While it happens that some schools and districts fail their students, it also happens that parents fail their children. 

Whatever comes of the litigation in Montana’s case, there is still a family that is missing their son.  There is still a little girl, now 8 years old, who witnessed Montana’s lifeless body being taken down and laid on a bed in the nurse’s office.  There are still classmates and teachers who lost something that fateful day.  And there will be victims of bullying who get no media attention, whose parents grieve in silence, and whose deaths and victimization go unnoticed. 

No amount of legislation or lawsuits will put an end to bullying.   Parents, it’s up to us to teach our children that their words and actions, even at such young ages, can have devastating effects.  It’s also up to us to watch how we speak to and in front of our children before.  We need to be the change we want to see in our children.

For more on Montana Lance, read here

A Reason To Come Back

Man it's been forever since I've typed on here.  I've had the desire and the want to but the time has been escaping me, and the list of excuses has been mounting.  Back to the grind I will go though, and get this ball back rolling...

A few weeks ago I was at a school.  A kid and his gang went to a local park and got beat up by a rival gang.  He was upset about this so he concocted a story about being jumped and he was going to retaliate by bringing a gun to his school to handle his business.  Needless to say, there was a significant amount of police presence at the school that day.  A co-worker talked to the kids mom and instructed her to leave her son at home that day and that if he showed on campus he would be arrested.

Fast forward to this week.  In the past three weeks at this school, a 14 year old kid died from an overdose of heroin.  3 kids just this week self-admitted to their addiction and checked into rehab.  One of those 3 kids was the kid that was supposed to bring the gun that Monday morning.  They were all friends with the deceased kid. Every one knew him.  He was not a gang member nor a "bad kid" but he had been using heroin since middle school.  As his chase of the dragon became worse, he started mixing his heroin with Zanax.  This proved deadly.  A few nights before his death, he gave a friend of his all his user names and passwords to his emails, video games, social networks, and cell phone.  It's as if he knew this information was going to be needed.  Sad thing is, his friend took them and did not ask the important questions.  Nor did he inform his parents or any adults at his school.  A few days later, his friend was dead.

Thursday afternoon I stood in front of 230 9th graders from the school.  I tried to teach them about the dangers of drugs without giving them any new ideas.  I made eye contact with the kids I had worked with in the past due to their gang affiliations.  And as I closed my presentation to them, I let them know that we as parents have failed them.

I can only hope that as I continue to speak to kids, I can one day tell them that we as parents, and as a society, are no longer failing them.

Warning Signs, Part 4

As I continue in Bob Larson's 6 warning signs, the next one is number 4 - Deteriorating Physical and Psychological Health.

Wow what a powerful and often overlooked stage. 

A key fact that Mr. Larson states is that kids, often teenagers, often have mood swings and different stages of health. Pattern and consistency are key.  it is also important to think about how many doctors are getting RICH by prescribing mind and mood altering psychotropic medications to kids.  From ADHD to bi-polar disorder, kids as young as 5 and 6 years old are given these pills in hopes that they get "cured."  What level of cure could happen if parents were just loving and involved???  But I digress. 

Whatever ill a child is dealing with, he/she will often begin exhibiting this form of deterioration.  Younger kids will often experience stomach or headaches, bed wetting, and/or crying.  Older kids and teenagers will withdraw from school, friends, stop doing activities they love, change friends, stop eating, etc.  The mental pain they are going through engulfs their whole world.  As this happens, they fall deeper into the fantasy worlds which i talked about earlier. 

Intervention with this step? A keen eye and an involved parent.  Mr. Larson states it well,

"Don't just focus on what they may be doing, like crying or receding emotionally from the family.  Find out what they feel like doing, what they'd do if they could, even if such talk turns to thoughts of suicide and violence against others." 

Kids who are pushed to the bring of suicide, violence, drugs, and gangs are scared.  They are looking for that person to embrace them through their fears.  It is important for parents to realize that our children are capable or violence.

Warning Signs, Part 3

Escaping Into a Fantasy World

Bob Larson’s third warning sign is a perfect continuation of the previous one, which centered on an absence from family interaction.  While the issue there was the absence itself, I happened to focus on what a kid is doing during that absence, which is more focused on this sign.  When children immerse themselves in positive activities, there is not much concern.  It is sometimes easy to real someone back in when their time and energy is focused on real world events, sports, or reading. 

The issues arise when the escape leads to a fantasy existence.  Role playing games have evolved into second worlds.  I have written a few topics of the dangers of certain video games, which Mr. Larson details as well.  The Columbine HS shooters spent countless hours playing, mastering, and developing their own worlds in the game Doom.  There have been several episodes of the CSI television series centered on the game “Second Life” which allows users to experience an alternate existence.  Users of these games often forget their real lives and develop the minds of their characters.  The violence associated with these games can also be desensitizing to the young mind.  When more and more hours are spent in the fantasy realms, kids lose more of their touch with their real lives.  When the number of at-risk factors or stressors on a kid’s life is in an acceptable or normal range, it is easy to bounce back.  But when the number of stress factors increases, the higher the percentage of harm that can be cause by time spent during these escapes. 

Again, as will continue to be the main focus of most of these writings, parental involvement is key.  No video game is a substitute for family interaction.  Unfortunately, many parents feel that as long as their child is in the home, they are not causing any harm nor at any risk.  If you have a child that plays video games, whether they are console based or computer based, spend some time watching them.  Have them show you the game, the playability, the community.  Read the chat rooms.  And if you see anything alarming, be the parent.

10 Year Old Girl Dies After Fight At School

While the shooting in Chardon, Ohio continues to grab the nation’s attention, buried under the headlines on cnn.com is “Girl, 10, dies hours after fight at school.” 

In an all too common occurrence, two fifth grade students planned a fight after school last Friday.  The girls, ten and eleven years old, met in an alley near their school.  Surrounded by classmates, the girls fought for less than a minute and parted ways.  One of the fighters returned to school immediately after for a scheduled tutoring session.  There were no reports of the fight until after the girl complained of not feeling well and went to the hospital.  6 hours after this planned fight, 10 year old Joanna Ramos died of blunt force trauma to the head.  Grief counselors will be at the school and the fate of the 11 year old girl is uncertain at this time. 

Any YouTube search of “(insert school name here) fights” will often lead to a multitude of cell phone videos of students fighting.  While onlookers cheer and instigate the fighters, there is often no regard for safety.  Kids as young as elementary age throw each other to the ground, kick each other in the head, and slam each other’s skulls into the pavement.  Usually only after a clear advantage is gained will the onlookers break up the fight, or simply separate the fights for another round. 

In this case, there was about a 15 minute window for these girls to leave school, fight, and return to school and act as if nothing happened.  It is time for parents to wake and realize that kids, even as young as 10 years old, even girls, are capable of planning and carrying out dangerous plans without considering the consequences.  It is very cliché to say that kids are growing up in a different time, but it is a point that many do not seem to understand.  Our kids reside in a secret world.  Cellular phones and social networking have helped fuel not only the imaginations of these kids but their rage as well.  Just ten years ago, schoolyard disagreements were often forgotten about overnight.  With the advent of texting and instant messaging, kids get home after school, disappear into their online worlds, and the disagreements evolve.   They are never given the chance to die.  Unfortunately, many parents praise their kids for their technological savvy.  Many of those same parents do not know the ins and outs of texting and social networking, and they do not take the time to learn.  If a parent allows their child to partake in social networking and the freedoms associated with a cellular phone at a young age, extreme diligence and scrutiny must be paid to those accounts.  It is not an invasion of privacy for a parent to monitor their child’s activity, especially on a phone or internet service they pay for! 

Chadron, Ohio...Thoughts?

Outcast…Nice guy…2 words that do not seem to fit together nor describe the same person.  However, those words were used today to describe T. J. Lane who is accused of shooting 5 people, killing one of them, in the cafeteria of a high school about 30 miles outside of Cleveland, Ohio. 

Early reports are that the suspect was essentially minding his own business during the breakfast period prior to classes when he stood up, pulled out a handgun, and began shooting towards other students.  Witnesses report that this did not seem to be a random act.  The victims attended a different high school and were waiting there for their bus.   The shooter fled the campus and was later apprehended. 

As thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims, what about the shooter.  What prompted T. J. Lane to commit this act?  Here are a few statements made about him after the fact;

• "He was one of the nicest kids here; it was really shocking that it was him"
• "He just came from a really broken down home and he was living with his grandparents"
• "He was more of a quiet type of kid. He was really nice, though, if you did talk to him"
• "A teenager described as an outcast"
• A witness also stated that Lane may have posted about this on a social network site, but that no one took him serious. 

As more details emerge about T J Lane, it will be interesting (to some) to see what motivated him to commit this act.  How many of Bob Larson’s “6 warning signs” did he portray?  Why did he target the students he did?  As the witness pointed out, Lane was a nice kid IF he was talked to.  How many people took the time out to reach out to him?  Was he written off as the “quiet kid from a broken home” and thus was not very popular?  Was he singled out by his peers because he was different or awkward?   I think back to the “Chain Reaction” mindset or Rachel Scott and the Rachel’s Challenge program.  What if the actions of a few, maybe even one student could have altered the course of this day? 

People everywhere are posting and commenting about schools no longer being safe, cherishing every morning with their kids because no one knows where this will happen next, etc.  Parents everywhere over the next few weeks are going to caution their kids about looking out for the quiet ones, to remain vigil and alert, and have a plan in place.  How many parents are teaching their kids to reach out to those that are different?  Do we teach our kids to speak to the loners, to befriend the different, or simply not to partake in the ostracizing of those who are the victims?  

Warning Signs, Part 2

Bob Larson's second warning sign that a child may be at risk is "absence from family interaction." 

Excessive disconnect is easily recognizable, unfortunately, is it chalked up as normal teenage behavior.  While at times it is normal for teenagers to separate themselves from family interaction, there is a difference in separation and absence.  Some separation can be healthy.  Teenagers often drift off into their own worlds of music, games, computers, card games, and/or sports.  It allows them to develop their own habits, their own likes, and their own identity.  What is important is for family members, especially parents, to incorporate themselves into these activities.  Showing an interest in their likes is a way to get them back into the family circle after they have escaped to their own fantasy island. 

Unfortunately, this is often an area where parents fail, which causes those separations to turn to the unwanted, and dangerous absences.  When parents do not show an interest in their child's activities, it further reinforces the thoughts they have of separation.  It is then easier for them to drift further and further away.  In the cases of some of the most notorious school shooters, their escapes led to a point of no return.  The hatred and anger they built up towards those at school and those that tormented them was not replaced by love and interest shown by their parents.  Eventually they were all placed in one big group of "enemies" which left them alone.  With nothing to live for and no perceived love at home, the unthinkable happened.  Regardless of the actual love the parents probably did have for them, their perception was their reality. 

Parents...involve yourselves in the interests of your children.  Show them that what is important to them is also important to you. 

Warning Signs, Part 1

I recently finished reading Extreme Evil: Kids Killing Kids by Bob Larson.  A police officer friend of mine, who works in a high school, asked why I am always reading these types of books.  Another friend said, "that's not recreational reading, that's research."  Either way, I work in schools and I have children so I take in as much information as possible.  In the book, Mr. Larson goes into specific details about the more notorious school shootings.  By interviewing students at the schools and his experiences, he is able to provide insight that is often ignored by the media.  He also writes on violent video games which I have previously touched on.  Over the next few posts, I am going to detail what Mr. Larson titles, "6 Warning Signs A Child Might Be In Trouble."  Mr. Larson does a great job of finding the common traits in the perpetrators of these violent acts and is able to single out the traits that parents can observe, and get help for. 


Trait 1 - "Obsessive Involvement with Immoral and Violent Cultural Influences"

Every generation seems to have an issue with the music and the cultural norms that influence their children.  For years parents have obsessed with controlling what their kids watch on television, listen to, and take part in.  Times change, music changes, and what is allowed on television changes.  Can you remember a time when certain words were not allowed on the radio?  Do you remember who the first husband and wife to share a bed on TV were?  What does all that mean? 

The key words are obsessive, immoral, and violent.  While we cannot always impose our morals on our children, we can control the level of violence we expose them to.  We can also try to control, or curb their level of obsession.  When a teenager's habits and actions move from an interest, even a favorite past time, to an obsession, there can be a problem.  And there is a keen difference in being a fan of something, and obsessing over it.  When "gangster rap" music came on the scene, many people tried to censor or ban it.  Kids everywhere, from the actual gangsters to suburban rich kids, quickly became enthralled with the beat, the lyrics, and the lifestyle.  Many people became fans of the music and the groups, but there were those that became obsessed.  Their dress, their friends, and their actions changed.  Many of them started committing crimes in order to validate their "street cred" with people they never knew. 

Regardless of what you feel is immoral or violent, enjoying it is one thing, obsessing over it is another.  Parents, educators, and interventionists should seek help, or begin the conversation with anyone who is displaying this trait. 

New Teen Drug Habits

While not gang related, this story I read today needs to be seen by as many parents as possible.

Those of us who work in schools and with at-risk children know this all too well, but I believe the majority of parents are blind to these facts.  Children, especially teenagers, are masters innovation.  While we outlaw and prohibit illicit drugs and alcohol, we have products in our homes that kids use to get high, often with very harmful side effects.

Look at these energy drinks...Who do you think these things are being marketed to?  Children of all ages are drawn to the colors, names, and slogans used by the companies.  As the story states,

"Energy drinks are gateway for elementary school kids...They drink it like it's water. Nurses have kids coming in with heart palpitations."

How often do parents in the check out line at the local supermarket succumb to their child's wish to buy them a drink?  Parents will often deny their child a soda, but will not hesitate to but one of these. 

How many of us have cans of compressed air laying around the house?  Often stored near the family computer or under the kitchen sink with the rest of the poison products we teach our little ones to stay away from are these bottles.  The allure to kids is that the high associated with inhaling these products can be felt immediately and last for a few minutes.  We've all been made aware of the dangers of sniffing glue and gasoline type liquids, but these inexpensive cans can be just as dangerous. 

And probably the most dangerous of the new drug trends among teens are "pharmaceutical" or "Pharm" parties.  Kids, usually teenagers, raid their parents' medicine cabinets and take what they can.  Sometimes they empty the whole bottle, other times they take a few from each bottle there.  Once at the party, every one's pills are poured into a bowl and the kids take hand fulls.  It is a pharmaceutical chex mix and it can have lethal results.  Not to mention the side effects of combining these unknown pills, they are usually washed down with alcohol.  And what happens when a kid passes out as a result of taking the wrong mix?  Many times, they are laughed at for "falling asleep" or, as has been reported in several news stories in the past few years, left for dead out of fear of punishment.  If you are a parent and have prescriptions at home, child-proof tops only keep out the small kids.  Many of us lock up our guns, jewelry, and emergency cash, but we leave these pills in a readily accessible location. Often right next to our kids' chewable vitamins.  Parents need to safely store and count the number of pills they have.  It could be a life saving difference. 

Airsoft Wars

On January 4, 2012, police officers in Brownsville, Texas responded to a middle school after a 15 year old student was seen with a gun in the halls after punching another student in the face.  When the student refused to obey the commands of the officers, he was shot and killed in the hallway of Cummings Middle School.  The gun this student had turned out to be an "airsoft" style handgun with the orange tip removed. 

If you take a trip to Walmart, Sears, and specialty knife shops in your local mall, you may see displays of very realistic looking firearms hanging on the wall.  The prices range from less than $10 for small, cheaply made handguns to several hundreds of dollars for heavy, metallic, military style rifles, fully equipped with lights and laser sights.  The only thing which sets these apart from real firearms are the orange-tipped muzzles which are legally required. 

A quick Google search of "airsoft wars" reveals various websites listing rules and play-styles for various role-playing or simulation type war games.  Several sites also state that police and military agencies use airsoft weapons for simulation training because of the realistic look and feel of the weapons.  While this may be a very cost effective and useful tool for these agencies, the indiscriminate parent who succumbs to the wish of their child can be in for a horrific awakening. 

Don't get me wrong.  There is nothing wrong with buying your child an airsoft rifle.  Participating in a controlled and supervised airsoft battle can be very exciting and stimulating.  the problem comes in when parents allow their child (or ignore them) and the airsoft is taken to school or to the community.  Many kids decide to remove the orange tip from their gun to make it look real.  While many people chalk this up to "teenage behavior" it can also be used as a test run to carrying a real pistol. 

The main problem, which for the 15 year old in Brownsville proved deadly, is when kids use these "weapons" in a threatening manner towards others, including police officers.  With the orange tip removed, and often at night, kids take to the streets.  When these guns are used in aggressive ways, the consequences can be deadly. 

What's the message?

In a time when methods of discipline and police presence in schools is coming under a lot of scrutiny, why would a social activist call for students to disrupt classes?  It has been proven that increasing a child's instructional time leads to a decrease in tardiness, absences, and disciplinary problems.  Under the Texas Education Code - Section 37.124, classroom disruption is a class C misdemeanor.  It has been widely discussed that once a student enters the justice system, their chance for success (timely graduation) begins to decrease.  Once they begin that downward spiral, in come the gangs, the truancy, the bullying, and the drugs.  So again I ask, why would a social activist call for students to intentionally disrupt classes?

The Irving (Texas) Independent School District has approximately 34,000 students.  Nearly 71% of those students are Hispanic.  Black and white students make up about 12% each.  The Irving ISD has an all white school board.  However, this week, the school board voted to change the way the members are elected, thus increasing the chance that minorities are voted into positions.  While still not a perfect system, it is a step in the right direction.  There are several community minority leaders who are still not pleased with the results.  While some are focusing on voter education and parents' participation in the schools, a member of the Irving NAACP states,

"If they don't go to a 7-0, we are suing them. We are calling for the kids to disrupt classes. We will be using every means necessary to get these people's attention."

The NAACP states in their objectives that they wish to remove barriers through democratic processes.  While there was a time for disruption and the "by any means necessary" mentality, is that the right message to teach students now?  When politics and agendas are argued in a board meeting between adults is one thing.  When you put the future of your students and children on the line, that's another. 

More can be read on this story here.