Bullying Leads To Arrest

North Texas has seen 2 highly publicized cases of bullying in recent weeks.

In a story that does not need any more attention, Aledo HS was accused of bullying by a parent after beating Fort Worth Western Hills HS by a score of 91-0.  If it was not for the bullying complaint, many people would not have known about this game (as with the other ridiculously one sided scores put up by Aledo this season).  But since a written complaint was logged, the administrators had to conduct an investigation into this.  Unfortunately, the parent that filed this complain remained anonymous and avoided public scrutiny.  Great time waste there that's all.

The sad story of Shea Shawhan has also reached national levels.  Shea is a student at Plano West Senior High School, in Plano, Texas.  Shea was left with a brain injury from complications during her birth.  as a result she suffers from seizures and developmental delays.  Shea was the victim of many harassing text messages, including some hoping for her death from a seizure and others discussing rape.  The coward sending these messages used a third-party app for a smart phone so his identity would be concealed.  Or so he thought.  Today the Plano Police Department arrested a juvenile male in connection with these texts.  Once again, there truly is no secrecy in cyberspace.  IP addresses are linked to many things, and in this case were used to track down this kid.

Shea's mother has come under scrutiny for publicizing both her daughter's condition and the threatening and vulgar texts she received.  She went as far as placing the screen shots of the messages on Facebook.  I applaud her mother for not standing down and being a victim.  By speaking out and placing her daughter in the public eye, she helped the anti-bullying conversation and campaign.  She also stood by and fought for her daughter, something we as parents often fail to do.  We often are too worried about the consequences, what others will think, how they will judge us, etc.  And after speaking to countless children and victims, many of them echo the same sentiments...they just want someone to fight for them.  Well this mother fought, and she won.

For more information on Shea Shawnham and the fight her mother is putting up, check out https://www.facebook.com/imwithshea

And So It Begins

Last night in Dallas, Texas, two teenage girls were shot in separate incidents.  While the details on one of the shootings are not as available, one is all over the news, and all too common.  What started as a 14 year old girl arguing on Facebook, lead to an early morning argument and drive-by shooting.  And by early morning, I mean 1:30am.  The details of the story can be read here. 

While I am not one to judge the actions of this girl nor her parents, I am going to point out one major issue I have with the parent, as I usually do. 

"Johnson told News 8 the fight escalated when her daughter's friends showed up in the front yard and got into a physical fight with her daughter at about 1:45 a.m."

Regardless of what is going on, as a parent do you allow your 14 year old child to go outside to confront these people at 1:45am?  What good could possibly have come of it?  As a parent it is your responsibility to protect your child, not send them out to fend for themselves. 

School starts in Dallas in about 3 weeks.  As summer winds down and the pressures of "back to school" crank up, there are bound to be several incidents similar to this. Hopefully they do not lead to gun play. 

The question to ask for any parents out there is...what are your kids involved in today that will affect them when school starts in 3 weeks? What online arguments are they involved in now that they will have to face when they see these people in person? 

(sidenote - I've been gone from here a while, the posts will resume if anyone cares lol)

Bullycide

A few years ago, the term “bullycide” did not exist.  However with the alarming number of kids killing themselves due to the cruelty of bullying, it was created.  In the last few weeks, it has been re-enforced.    

In Ridge Farm, Illinois, Ashlyn Conner was “tormented” by her classmates.  She was being called “fat” and a “slut” even though she was a beautiful child.  She had a bright smile and was a cheerleader.  The night before her death, she reportedly asked her mother if she could be home schooled because she was terrified of returning to her school.  The mother told her no and when she woke up the next morning, her daughter had killed herself by hanging herself with a scarf. 

In Chadbourn, North Carolina, Jasmine McClain hung herself with a belt after repeated bullying at school.  She was teased about her clothes and her shoes and she also dreaded returning to school.  Investigators further learned of her bullying through Facebook.  In every parent’s worst nightmare, her mother found her and Jasmine took her final breath in her mother’s arms. 

On April 20, 1999, there were 13 homicide and 2 bullycide victims at Columbine High School.  International news stations covered the events.  Books have been written, programs have been developed, and legislation has been passed based on the events of that day.  Sadly, in the case of these young girls and the majority of these young victims, their stories go untold. 

May their families find peace. 

Ashlyn Conner story can be read here

Jasmine McClain story can be read here

Stalked, Bullied, Beaten

In Garland, Texas, a 15 year old high school student was a victim of an all too common crime this week. 

In what appears to be an assault planned by the aggressor and her friends, a female student was approached at school, and while attempting to walk AND keeping her hands in her pockets, was assaulted.  She suffered a broken nose and had to be treated at a local emergency room. 

It appears that the parents of the victim had previously taught her properly.  They told her to walk away and it is very evident in the video which accompanies this story, that this is what she attempted to do.  The victim's mother had this to say,

“Just look at how violent it is! I told her, I said just walk away. She said, ‘I did what you told me, Mom.’ I told her no matter what you just walk away and she did,” she said.

In another all too common thread of this story, the incident apparently started on social media.  While social media can be a very rewarding, fulfilling, and practical tool, left in the hands of teenagers it can have serious, and sometimes deadly consequences.  The video was also posted on Youtube which many people do not consider a social media site.  With the technology in cellular phones ever increasing, kids can post videos to Youtube, Facebook, and other social media sites as soon as they are recorded.  The comments posted about these vidoes on all the sites can be alarming. 

The local school district did not comment on the incident.  However, school districts across the State of Texas were recently mandated to adopt anti-bullying policies which address cyber-bullying as well as several other times.  Harsher consequences for the aggressors are now mandatory.  So while the parents may be upset that the attackers were not arrested, they should remain vigilant in ensuring that the school complies with policy.  And they need to continue to teach their daughter that fighting is not the answer. 

Bullying Maybe???

Today in Grapevine, Texas, a 15 year old 9th grade student had to be air lifted to a local hospital after a possible neck injury.  Events like this are all too common during football practices and games, however in this case, the victim was merely in the school hallway. 

According to this brief report, a 16 year old classmate

""blindsided" the freshman about 1 p.m. today, knocking him onto his back"

All the details have not been released, however the 16 year old is in custody in a juvenile detention center. 

It is easy to speculate at what the reasons were behind this "attack".  Maybe the boys have a history of aggression towards each other.  Maybe they were involved in an argument over a Facebook status.  Maybe they were fighting over a female.  Or maybe the aggressor in this situation is a bully and the 15 year old was just another target for him. 

Either way, head injuries can be devastating.  There are many videos online which show the effects of students getting slammed onto their head.  Some have laid on the ground unconscious and seizing, others have barely been able to walk away. (see Richard Gale, the bully in Australia who was slammed by his victim) The true effects sometimes are not known until a few days after the event.  And what may start as a mutual fight or an aggressive bully taking advantage of his opportunity can end with very serious consequences. 

Smash or Pass

The premise is simple; a picture is uploaded and viewers are ask to comment on whether they would “smash” (have sex with) or “pass”. 

Facebook pages, groups, and profiles are created with names such as “(random school name) Smash or Pass”.  The spelling can at times be unusual in a way to mislead adults.  Common uses are “smasho’pass and smashuhpass.  The creator of the page then broadcasts it around the school, and in no time, hundreds of students are in a common group, sharing pictures of each other and asking for the above comments.  While many chalk it up to innocent fun, or kids being kids, the content of these pictures and groups is what is alarming.  Young boys and girls are taking extremely revealing pictures of themselves in various poses for the others.  Obviously, the more revealing the picture, the better the comments, which is the intended goal. 

Users can also upload pictures of others and use this as an avenue for humiliation and bullying. 

This is just yet another reason for parents to monitor their children’s internet and social network usage.  Children need to be taught that not only can there be consequences for posting pictures online; they also lose control of the use of those pictures.  Smash or pass pages are also the destination for many pictures obtained through “sexting”. 

A simple search on Facebook of “Smash or Pass” reveals many pictures, including the one used in this post.  If you are curious or want to know about your area, open a Facebook profile and search the school name along with smash or pass.  The results may shock you. 

Sidenote – if the movie “The Social Network” is accurate, Facebook was basically started as smash or pass site.  Pictures of female students were paired up and viewers were to vote which one was more appealing.