Warning Signs, Part 2

Bob Larson's second warning sign that a child may be at risk is "absence from family interaction." 

Excessive disconnect is easily recognizable, unfortunately, is it chalked up as normal teenage behavior.  While at times it is normal for teenagers to separate themselves from family interaction, there is a difference in separation and absence.  Some separation can be healthy.  Teenagers often drift off into their own worlds of music, games, computers, card games, and/or sports.  It allows them to develop their own habits, their own likes, and their own identity.  What is important is for family members, especially parents, to incorporate themselves into these activities.  Showing an interest in their likes is a way to get them back into the family circle after they have escaped to their own fantasy island. 

Unfortunately, this is often an area where parents fail, which causes those separations to turn to the unwanted, and dangerous absences.  When parents do not show an interest in their child's activities, it further reinforces the thoughts they have of separation.  It is then easier for them to drift further and further away.  In the cases of some of the most notorious school shooters, their escapes led to a point of no return.  The hatred and anger they built up towards those at school and those that tormented them was not replaced by love and interest shown by their parents.  Eventually they were all placed in one big group of "enemies" which left them alone.  With nothing to live for and no perceived love at home, the unthinkable happened.  Regardless of the actual love the parents probably did have for them, their perception was their reality. 

Parents...involve yourselves in the interests of your children.  Show them that what is important to them is also important to you.