Too Young...

On January 21, 2010, nine year old Montana Lance, a 4^th grade student at Stewart Creek Elementary School in Lewisville, Texas took his own life.  After being sent to the office, he asked to use the bathroom and locked himself in the nurse’s closet and hung himself with a belt. 

Nearly two and a half years later, the case is still in litigation. 

Parents from Lewisville and several other school districts staged a demonstration today due to their feelings that schools are not doing enough to protect students from bullying.  What many parents fail to realize is that the US Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, called for school districts across the country to adopt anti-bullying protocols last school year.  It was mandated in Texas as part of the most recent legislative session.  While parents do have an expectation of safety when their child is dropped off at school, it is important for parents to familiarize themselves with their school district’s code of conduct.  At the beginning of every school year, parents are given a stack of paperwork to fill out from their child’s teacher or school.  One of those papers is usually an acknowledgement of receipt of the code of conduct.  The majority of parents simply tear the signature paper out, sign it, and return it with the rest of the stack.  However, it is the parent’s responsibility to know the information.  While it happens that some schools and districts fail their students, it also happens that parents fail their children. 

Whatever comes of the litigation in Montana’s case, there is still a family that is missing their son.  There is still a little girl, now 8 years old, who witnessed Montana’s lifeless body being taken down and laid on a bed in the nurse’s office.  There are still classmates and teachers who lost something that fateful day.  And there will be victims of bullying who get no media attention, whose parents grieve in silence, and whose deaths and victimization go unnoticed. 

No amount of legislation or lawsuits will put an end to bullying.   Parents, it’s up to us to teach our children that their words and actions, even at such young ages, can have devastating effects.  It’s also up to us to watch how we speak to and in front of our children before.  We need to be the change we want to see in our children.

For more on Montana Lance, read here

A Reason To Come Back

Man it's been forever since I've typed on here.  I've had the desire and the want to but the time has been escaping me, and the list of excuses has been mounting.  Back to the grind I will go though, and get this ball back rolling...

A few weeks ago I was at a school.  A kid and his gang went to a local park and got beat up by a rival gang.  He was upset about this so he concocted a story about being jumped and he was going to retaliate by bringing a gun to his school to handle his business.  Needless to say, there was a significant amount of police presence at the school that day.  A co-worker talked to the kids mom and instructed her to leave her son at home that day and that if he showed on campus he would be arrested.

Fast forward to this week.  In the past three weeks at this school, a 14 year old kid died from an overdose of heroin.  3 kids just this week self-admitted to their addiction and checked into rehab.  One of those 3 kids was the kid that was supposed to bring the gun that Monday morning.  They were all friends with the deceased kid. Every one knew him.  He was not a gang member nor a "bad kid" but he had been using heroin since middle school.  As his chase of the dragon became worse, he started mixing his heroin with Zanax.  This proved deadly.  A few nights before his death, he gave a friend of his all his user names and passwords to his emails, video games, social networks, and cell phone.  It's as if he knew this information was going to be needed.  Sad thing is, his friend took them and did not ask the important questions.  Nor did he inform his parents or any adults at his school.  A few days later, his friend was dead.

Thursday afternoon I stood in front of 230 9th graders from the school.  I tried to teach them about the dangers of drugs without giving them any new ideas.  I made eye contact with the kids I had worked with in the past due to their gang affiliations.  And as I closed my presentation to them, I let them know that we as parents have failed them.

I can only hope that as I continue to speak to kids, I can one day tell them that we as parents, and as a society, are no longer failing them.